As I lie here in the middle of a terribly rough night with two sick children, my mind is abundant with thoughts. I feel the need to express myself and want to share with all of you.
I’ve always been a very private person. Since starting my business and also deciding to write a blog, I realized I wasn’t going to be as private anymore. I discovered and am constantly discovering, that sharing, and connection through sharing, is so important. Each step of my journey thus far in writing my stories on motherhood, has been pivotal for my growth. For one, this expression takes me out of my private world which I once didn’t share, and the perception of me and my choices will no longer be anonymous.
When I entered the world of Facebook, it was initially so exciting. Connecting with the past and present in such a way was and still is, heartwarming and engaging. I was shy in the beginning and just played voyeur to all of your lives, updates, and photos. I sat back waiting for my fingers to transmit the voice I so wanted to articulate.
I would stand comfortably in the middle and not bring up or even acknowledge anything that might have been controversial or initiated judgement against me. As I started getting more and more comfortable with myself, and my need and desire to express my thoughts openly, I began sharing more.
I love posting happy photos of my boys. I love posting inspiring and positive quotes for the day. I enjoy seeing all of yours. I love writing blogs and sharing them in hopes that discussions will be started. I love sharing articles on parenting and life that I find important. I love the awareness of so many things you all bring to my life, via Facebook. Even if we disagree or stand for opposing sides, I appreciate that we have a place where we can gain knowledge and insight into topics of every sort as well as the ability to understand and accept one another.
I observe your posts though the news feed and often wonder as I see photos each day of smiling kids and happy couples, if you endure challenges as I do. I wonder if you are afraid to share. I wonder if you are simply private like me. I wonder if we are all hiding until just one of us opens up and takes the chance to be honest and subjective to others opinions and criticism. I wonder if you would be ok with people knowing you are not perfect.
Putting ourselves, our beliefs, our lives out there so candidly is brave. I don’t find it to be boastful unless of course, that’s all it is. I have been finding that the more authenticity I see in people, the more I respect them and feel comfortable in sharing my own. I find this to be the case in all things. I want connection. I want support. I want to be support for you.
When you or I share about the fact that our child is late in potty training and how challenging that task can be, we allow others in the same position to not only feel like they are not alone, but it gives us an open forum for possible insight and reinforcement we may need.
Yes, people will talk about us. Yes, people will judge. I don’t care about that and I hope you don’t either. It is more important for us to work through these issues we struggle with rather than worry about the people who laugh and talk behind our backs. I don’t need those people. I need the ones who care about me and understand that I am doing my best. I am not perfect. My children are not perfect. In letting go of our fear of what people will think or say, we open ourselves up to the ones who do care. Who will support us. Who may need us and are going through the same thing. This is what we need. This is why I will share more intimately and I welcome you to join me.
We are all different. We all parent differently. I believe we all want to connect. We all need each other because we are all connected. I am looking forward to sharing in my upcoming posts in a way I haven’t before.
Life is transcendent. Life presents it’s challenges. No matter how healthy, successful, beautiful, smart, loved, creative and bright you are, you will experience them. Parenting is the greatest gift. Parenting is also arduous. No matter how patient, loving, kind, strong and educated you are, you will experience situations you can’t imagine getting through, and yet, you will.
In moments like these, when we struggle and feel alone and helpless, I am grateful for my patience, strength and Love. I’m here if you want or need to share.
May you bring to light that which you fear and reveal something you didn’t think you could. I will do the same.
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